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Geplaatst op 26 januari, 2016 om 9:10



Vanuit liefde reageren. Als er iets gebeurt in je omgeving waarbij je in een situatie komt die niet prettig voelt. Kijken voorbij de eerste emoties, oude patronen. Dus niet zoals je gewend bent je terugtrekken als een bang haasje, of als een ram jezelf klaarstomen voor het gevecht. Maar gewoon toelaten dat dit gevoel er mag zijn. Je schaduwkant, de minder prettige kanten die je liever niet laat zien van jezelf. De kwetsbare, de boze, de angstige. Als je die kant kunt laten bestaan in al haar hevigheid maak je jezelf compleet omdat elk deel van jou er mag zijn. Toelaten van je emoties en teleurstelling en het laten zien van je pijn, is een deel van we noemen: loslaten. Je laat de controle van het perfecte plaatje los.


Laat het verdriet maar toe en kijk naar je teleurstelling. Waren je verwachtingen reëel? Verwachtte je wellicht iets van de ander wat hij of zij je niet kon geven. Hou het bij jezelf. Het eerste wat je kunt doen is je verdriet delen met iemand die je vertrouwt. Gedeelde smart is halve smart. En zo werkt het ook, de ander kan je helpen de dingen te relativeren en in een ander daglicht te zien. Vaak is het niet zoals het lijkt. Daarna kun je ervoor kiezen uit de cirkel van de emotie te stappen en van een afstand te kijken naar jezelf. Wat heeft zij (jijzelf dus) nodig om weer te helen. En doe dat ook! Als dat betekent dat je 2 dagen chagrijnig bent, so be it. Als je jezelf even terugtrekt voor de tijd die je nodig hebt, ook goed. Het gaat erom dat je iets doet wat bij je past om bij jezelf te komen, zonder oordelen over jezelf. Tijd bestaat niet.

Vanuit daar kom je in het oog van de storm terecht en vind je rust en kalmte. Laat de storm, de storm. Dat zijn invloeden van buiten af en ben jij niet. Voel maar in je solar plexus, je krachtcentrum (de ruimte onder je borstbeen, boven je navel) wie jij bent. Dat is goed. Vanuit daar voel je storm weer gaan liggen en kun je gaan handelen vanuit je kracht.


Ga je de confrontatie aan met de situatie die onprettig is? Je kunt nu vanuit jezelf handelen, je authentieke ik. Niet vanuit een emotie of een mindset dat je minder bent dan een ander. Les een: niemand is beter of slechter dan jij en stel je ook zo op. Je kijkt naar wat jou grenzen zijn en waar je prettig bij voelt. Op een die manier kun je dat nu ook duidelijk maken en in rust overbrengen. Zo doe je geen afbreuk aan je eigenwaarde, en kun je duidelijk maken wat voor jou belangrijk is.


Liefhebben betekent niet dat er nooit ruzie is, geen woordenwisselingen, geen irritaties. We gaan allemaal weleens onze grenzen over, laten ons door een onverwachte situatie verrassen, of zij moe van de mallemolen. Liefhebben betekent kijken naar wat je nodig hebt en vanuit daar je liefde uitdragen. Opstaan en weer doorgaan. Op die manier kan je liefde mensen mijlenver raken omdat hij echt is, en dat is wat de mensen als eerste zien en voelen.



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